Losing our first pregnancy was hard, and in many ways, I feel terrified to try again. I'm scared to get excited, and worried we may miscarry a second time. Also, I feel guilty because any child we may conceive would not be possible if Easton had lived. But, I also understand that nothing will change what happened, and no amount of worrying will change what will happen in the future.
And so, we're trying again. Trying to continuously put our faith in God, and to give our future over to Him. Trying to be excited, and trying to trust.
I have no idea what miscarrying has done to my body. From what I have read, it is different for every woman. And so, while I am back to charting, I am doing so to make sure my cycle is "normal", not necessarily to conceive. Our attitude right now is: if it happens, it happens. Once I'm through a full cycle, we plan to return to actively "trying", but for right now, we're just trusting.