Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Finding a routine

I like to know what comes next.  And with a newborn, that's pretty hard to do.  Especially since we kind of went into parenting thinking we'd just figure it out as we went, based around E.  Well, that just made her and us me frustrated.  I looked into doing Moms on Call, and may still do it, but hesitated to spend the money when we weren't BOTH on board with it yet.  In desperation, I googled and realized that The Baby Whisperer sounded like exactly what I was looking for, and I actually already had the book, so I spent an evening devouring it and told the hubby that we NEEDED to attempt it, for my sanity's sake.

We're only a few days in, and still struggling with some of the routine, but having a plan and a goal is doing wonders for my type A self.  It's also allowing our schedule to not just revolve around making my boobs available 24/7 and we're actually acknowledging that everytime E cries doesn't necessarily mean she's hungry (duh, Lori).  Of course, I'm aware that we have a newborn, who has a personality all her own and even if she follows a routine perfectly one day doesn't mean she will the next and that's ok.  But that's what we're up to this week.  Anyone out there have much experience with The Baby Whisperer?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thursday Randoms

1. Our house has been shown twice since we dropped the price- both this week.  Hoping we get an offer soon, as that would be one less thing to worry about.

2.  Emersyn has given us a 4 hour stretch of sleep right when she first goes down for the night (around 8 or 9pm), but then she's up every two hours for the rest of the night- I don't know if it's too early to try to get those two hour stretches to 3 or 4 hours, or if I'm getting her into a habit of waking up that often.  Any ideas/ suggestions?

3. Baby girl has a diaper rash that seems to be taking a long time to clear up- what's the normal time something like that takes?  I'm wondering if it's in her cloth wipes and I need to do something extra (like some bleach) when I wash them to clear it out?

4. I'd never done laundry on anything other than cold until E arrived.  I had to look up the manual for our washer online to figure out how to do an extra rinse.  If I do need to add bleach I'll need to figure out how to do that too haha.

5. I'm excited for Hubs to start his job in June, but I'm dreading being apart.  My mom's going to come the first week, and then we're going to play it by ear depending on his schedule where E and I will be when he has to be in Missouri.

6. I got to talk to one of my blog friends on the phone yesterday (Hi Colby!) and it was so fun to chat about our birth experiences and first days of motherhood.  I love all my internet friends (as my hubby calls them).

7. We got Emersyn's birth announcements in yesterday and I should be addressing them instead of blogging haha.

8. While our house was being shown this morning we took our our Bob for a walk!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Birth Story

The last few weeks of pregnancy I felt like a teapot, just waiting to boil, but other than Braxton Hicks, nothing happened.  At my 38 week appointment, my Dr scheduled an induction for May 4, due to Emersyn's estimated size.  I was 1cm dilated and 50% effaced.  We went into Labor and Delivery on April 28 with regular, but not too painful contractions, and no progression, so we were sent home.

I was very nervous about an induction, as I'd heard Pitocin was very rough, and worried that if my body wasn't ready to deliver it would end in a c-section, so we tried lots of "natural" induction methods.  At my 39 week appointment I was 1.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced, and I pretty much resigned myself to the induction two days later.  The day between my appointment and the induction we cleaned the house, ran errands, and I even made some freezer meals (brilliant idea for someone that's 39 weeks preggo and miserable).  We went to bed that night around 10pm excited and nervous.  I woke up at 2:45 that morning for my normal bathroom trip and could not go back to sleep.  We got up at 4 am, ate a light breakfast, gathered the last of our things, and headed to the hospital for our 5 am induction.

We got all checked in, and they started my iv (ouchie) with the Pitocin at 5:35am.  They started me at 6 mil/hr.  I had the same type of contractions I'd had the weekend before, regular but not too painful.  My Dr came in at 6:50, and checked me.  I was at a 2-3 cm dilated, still 80% effaced.  She broke my water, which basically just felt like a long cervical check.  They also upped my Pitocin level to 10 mil/hr.

I had a lot of amniotic fluid and went through towels and waterproof pads like crazy.  The first few changes of towels I waited for the nurse to do it, but it was so uncomfortable (basically like peeing your pants for a minute at a time with each contraction and then laying in the puddle) that eventually Blake changed them for me.  He was incredible through this whole process and it gave new meaning to the word love.  It only took abut 30 minutes after the breaking of my water for the contractions to get more and more painful.  I wrote down that it felt like really intense, really horrible gas pains, with a lot of pain in my hips, which surprised me.  This progressed until I was to the point that when Blake asked me what it felt like, my reply was "hell."  It didn't help that my contractions were nearly constant.

Emersyn was still sunny side up, so my nurse was having me labor in several positions to get her to turn.  I was on my side with a leg in the stirrups for awhile, and they got me on all fours hugging a labor ball as well.  This position didn't last very long because I started to feel nauseous and lightheaded.  I got a dose of my favorite medication, Zofran, to help with the nausea, and we gave up on the labor ball.

By 8:20 am, I was ready for some relief.  Blake kept reminding me to breathe through the contractions, and at one point I looked at him and said, "I don't want to breathe, I want drugs."  I told my nurse that I was ready for my epidural and she really encouraged me to not get it quite yet, because if I got it too early it may not be at it's peak when I most needed it, so we did Nubain instead, administered through the iv.  This worked within a few minutes and took my pain level from a 10 + to about a 4.  Ahhh, drugs.  Gotta love em.  They also turned down the Pitocin back to 6 mil/hr as they said I should not be having contractions that close together.  Apparently it wasn't allowing my body to progress because the uterus wasn't able to get enough oxygen.  The nurse said my body must have been ready to go because of how much I was contracting on such a low dose of Pitocin.

The relief from the Nubain lasted until about 10:45 am, at which point I would say I was well on my way back to the hellish contractions- time for the epidural!  The actual insertion of the epidural was less painful than the iv, but combined with contractions it was hard.  I was glad I still had some of the Nubain in my system or I have no idea how could have held still.  I also got very faint at this point, sitting up on the side of the bed with it raised very high and my feet in Blake's lap, I kept asking why it was so hot in the room and started to see stars.

By 11:00 the epidural was in effect, but only on my right side- the left side was still experiencing those horrible contractions, again, mostly in my hips.  We shared this info with the nurse and she had me turn only my right side (which was a mistake, she thought we meant it was the right side that was hurting, so rolling onto the right actually made it even worse).  We figured it out fairly quickly (but not before I pushed the little button for extra meds a few times) and they rolled me onto my left side and brought the anesthesiologist in to give me a bolus (a one time iv push of even more medication).  My Dr. came in and checked me at 11:50 and I was dilated to 4.

By noon my bottom half was dead to the world.  All the extra effort to make the epidural take on my left side meant I had a LOT of medication and I couldn't feel the contractions at all.  Our families came in and visited and they again were elevating my a leg at a time in an effort to make her turn.  By 12:45 I was dilated to a 5 and they inserted my catheter.  Again, bottom half was totally dead and I couldn't feel a thing going on down there!  We even joked about how our baby was a Star Trek baby (May the Fourth be with you).  Yes, we're nerds.  Yay drugs!

At 2:50 the nurse checked me and initially said I was dilated to a 9, which shocked me.  She had me "practice push" to see if that changed how much she thought I was dilated.  She told me to push like I was pooping and while I couldn't feel anything down there, I did as she told me and helpfully stated that the face I was making was the face I made when I pooped so I hoped that was right.  After this she said she thought I was closer to a 6 or 7.  However, when my Dr checked me at 3:20 she said I was indeed at a 9, but E was still sunny side up, and they continued with the leg elevations while I laid on my side.  Our families came in again to visit at this point and my mama prayed that E would turn.

At 3:45, Dr. said I was complete and we were going to start pushing soon!  They got the room ready, and I begged my nice nurse for more Zofran, as I was again feeling nauseous.  My SIL came in and put my hair back as Blake's ponytail skills left quite a bit to be desired.  My completely dead legs (seriously it was laughable how floppy they were) went into stirrups and the Dr. said she didn't think I'd even be pushing for 30 minutes as she could "see hair".  I asked her if she told everyone that and she said she didn't haha.  They removed my catheter at I started pushing at 4:26.

I'd heard that pushing was actually a relief from the pressure you normally feel, but since I couldn't feel the contractions at all it just felt like a lot of work.  Those 10 sec counts (3 per contraction) were a lot longer than 10 seconds, and holding my breath and pushing that hard again made me extremely light headed.  They gave me oxygen so I wouldn't pass out.  At one point the Dr asked if I wanted to feel her hair (she has a ton) and ahem, my reply was an emphatic, "NO!'  I wanted her OUT, so I just kept going, the best I could, and I must have done something right as she arrived 12 minutes later at 4:38pm.

Even though I couldn't feel below my waist, I could feel E exit my body since my upper abdomen wasn't dead and it was such a weird and incredible feeling.  The doctor handed her over to me and I just sobbed, "I love you" over and over.  Followed by "I can't believe I had a baby"!  I held her while they stitched me up (I had a second degree tear), and Blake and I were just in awe.  She came out hungry, sucking on her fists and rooting around, so I asked if I could breastfeed.  The nurses cleaned her all up for us, weighed and measured her (8lbs 10 oz, 20.25 inches long, 13 inch head), and gave her her first bath, complete with a mohawk.

I nursed for the first time, and then our families came in and met the newest addition.

And that is how our life as a family began.

*All images are courtesy of Andrea Murphy Photography, who I highly reccomend.  I am so very happy we had a birth photographer, and if you love photos as much as I do, here is a slideshow of more of our birth images.

Update on baby, her bum, and my boobs.

We had Emersyn's 2 week check up today and got answers to a lot of questions we've been having.  Baby girl has reflux, and I have a bit of overactive letdown, which explains the gagging at my boob and the spit up, vomit and pain she's been experiencing.  We got a prescription for Zantac, and I'm going to be laying off mexican, tomatoes, peanuts and seafood.  After awhile, I'll add those foods back in to see if she still has an issue with any of them.  I had been trying to avoid dairy for the last few days as I'd read that can be a trigger, but my doctor said that's usually when one of the parents has an allergy.  Honestly, seafood will be hard for me to give up (umm sushi), but it will probably be easier to do than dairy because dairy seems to be in everything.

The overactive letdown is something I'm dealing with by nursing laying down (supposed to help the milk run out of their mouth if it's too much instead of making them gag), and by hand expressing out some of the milk before letting E nurse.  I asked if I could save this milk for us to give E when we want someone to watch her for awhile and the dr said yes (I was worried it would be too much foremilk).

It is incredibly hard to have Emersyn be in pain, especially when it seems tied to my breastmilk.  Makes me feel like a crap mom, even though I know it doesn't really mean that.  I'm really excited to have a plan and hopefully make her feel better.  Also, the dr and my SIL both said babies can't really tell sometimes when they're hungry vs when their belly is upset, so this could also explain E wanting to nurse so often.  Our dr said at this point he would not have me nurse her more often than every 2 hours, and he'd like it to be closer to 3 and 4 at night.  So would I haha, but before talking with him I felt like I was starving her by not nursing when she wanted, and now we know that's not the case (she's 9 lbs 1 oz, so nearly a full pound up from when we left the hospital).  So that's the lowdown on my boobs haha.

E also has a bit of diaper rash- we noticed it getting really bad about a week ago and it seemed to be triggered by the wipes, which our dr confirmed, so we've switched to cloth wipes.  She's doing a LOT better with those, but the rash hasn't completely cleared up so the Dr recommended something that starts with an L and I can't remember right now (hubs is on it).

We're doing the Jillian's Drawer's cloth diaper trial right now to attempt to go over to cloth diapers as well, but to be honest, I'm not sold on them right now.  I straight up bought and tried 3 different diapers (bumgenius freetime, grovia hybrid, and fuzzibunz) and so far only like the fuzzibunz.  The other two are super bulky, and take forever to dry.  The fuzzibunz has to be stuffed, and I'm not sure if it's just because of everything else going on, but right now cloth diapers just seems like a lot of extra work that I'm not crazy about.  I really want to love cloth, and hubs is being really supportive about the cloth, but it's frustrating to think you know what you want, buy it, and then realize you don't like them, AND it feels like a waste of money!

We've gotten our pics back from our birth photographer and I LOVE them- should have that posted soon!

Thursday, May 17, 2012


Whelp, it took me less than two weeks to succumb to the exhaustion and admit that being a mama is freaking hard.  Right now I'm really struggling with breastfeeding, because Blake can't help out with feedings, which means when E wakes up every two hours, it takes a forty-five minutes to feed/change/ burp her, and then get back to sleep, I'm getting sleep in hour and fifteen minute increments.  Keep in mind this is when nursing goes well and she's not spitting out my boob or falling asleep as soon as it enters her mouth.  Pretty sure it's all normal, and exactly what everyone warns your about, but experiencing it sucks.  I said to my hubs this morning, I'm too tired to sleep.  Even when E sleeps, I feel like I'm just waiting for her to cry again and I can't settle down enough to sleep.

E's been having some bad episodes of projectile spit up and gas pains.  Last night, her sheet, hair, blanket, and onesie all got covered, which means it all got changed, mid screams at 4am, then I fed her, and while burping her, more spit up, which went all down my front and pooled in my nursing bra.  Awesome.

And today?  Baby girl is in pain from gas and we're both in tears.  Her because her belly hurts and me because she's in pain, I can't make it better, I feel like it's my fault and I'm so.freaking.tired.  I know I'm rambling, and please don't think I'm a horrible parent, but being responsible for this little person's happiness and nourishment 24/7 feels overwhelming.  Being covered in spit up and breastmilk, and bleeding out your hoo ha, and waking up sweating thanks to the hormones is gross.  I am still in my pjs and my big accomplishment for today was putting on deodorant at 2pm.

Thank God for my SIL.  She's a breastfeeding champ, and somehow knows exactly when I'm struggling and I magically get an encouraging call with helpful tips.  Because of her our afternoon has been a lot better than our night and morning.  She listened to what was going on and figured out that E was getting too much air when she nurses (duh, Lori), so this afternoon I tried nursing laying down, which is supposed to help with the air intake, and E actually slept for a couple of hours, woke up, nursed again, and is asleep again.  Her gas seems to be working itself out and we're going to try some gas drops tonight if it still seems to be hurting her.

Just keeping it real, and thankful for any prayers you can send our way.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

For the first time...

I am celebrating not just my mom and mother-in-law on this Mother's Day, but also the blessing of being a Mama myself.  So very thankful.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

E (and Mama) Loves: Baby Must Haves

1. Aden and Anais Muslin Blankets- $34.99

Yes, they are pricey, but like every other mama out there, so far, hubs and I both swear by them.  They swaddle better than anything else we have, are super soft, and are lightweight enough for our May baby.  Anything heavier and Emersyn would be way too hot.  We pair it with a short sleeve shirt or onesie, socks (when she doesn't kick them off) and a diaper and she's just the right temperature.

2. Motorola® Digital Video Baby Monitor with 3.5 Inch Color LCD Screen- $249.00
Also pricey- are you sensing a trend?  My parents got us this monitor, and we got the floor model, so it was $50 off, then my mama used a 20% off coupon, yay for bargains!  So far we love this monitor.  You can move it up and down and side to side from the parent unit, it monitors the room temp, and eventually we can add another camera for another little one and it will scan both rooms.

3.  iBaby Log app for iPhone- Free!
This app is on my dock thing on my iPhone because I use it to track every feeding and diaper change.  You can also log sleep, pumping, bottles, baths, medication, and a bunch of other stuff.  You think you'll remember how long she nursed and on which breast, but at 2am, you won't.  This actually times how long she nurses and then you can look at the graph to see how long she's been on each breast for a day, when the last feeding was etc.  And it logs wet and dirty diapers if you're worried about her getting enough etc.  This app means my phone is attached to me 24/7, which is also handy for pics and videos:)

4. Wubanub Pacifier- $12.95
Good heavens Lori, $13 for a pacifier?  Yup, if that's the only one your kiddo will take and she fed 19 times in the last 24 hours.  We introduced this at 1 week 1 day, WAY earlier than I thought we'd try a paci- I was in tears giving it to her (mommy guilt at it's finest), but a call from my SIL calmed me down.  E sometimes wants to nurse for less than 2 minutes at a time, so is basically just snacking or using my boob for comfort, which is fine, but it means she doesn't eat as much at regular intervals, and may not be getting the hind milk she needs.  Plus it's really frustrating and exhausting to get up every 30 minutes and settle in to nurse in the night because she awoke for some reason and have her be asleep again in less than 2 min.  I'm going to watch for nipple confusion, but so far I think this will help.

5. Fisher Price My Little Snugabunny Bouncer Seat- $59.00
Very handy if you want to get anything done other than hold your baby.

6.  Upholstered Glider Chair- various prices.
This was one of those things I really wanted for our nursery, but was way out of our budget new (this sucker is just under $1,300 including the ottoman).  Total God thing that I found one at a consignment store for $89 (!!!).  Ours is hot pink and we bought it before we even knew E was a girl (worked out well so we didn't have to recover it).  This baby is the reason E sleeps in her crib at night instead of the bassinet in our room.  It is exceedingly comfortable and easy to nurse in as opposed to getting in and out of my bed.  I can't speak for the traditional rocker gliders, but I'm a huge fan of the plushness of the fully upholstered chairs.  However, if I hadn't gotten such a good deal there's no way this would be in our nursery.  Basically, just find a comfy chair for feeding.

7. Lansinoh Cream- $9.49, Lansinoh nursing pads- $9.87.
These were recommended to me by a blog friend of mine, Hi Erin:), and so far, so good!  They gave me Medela cream in the hospital and I really like the Lansinoh better, and I haven't bothered with any other nursing pads- these contour to the breast and absorb well.

8. Super cute baby.

Emersyn enjoying products 1, 4, and 5:)

Friday, May 11, 2012

One week later...

I can hardly believe Emersyn is a week old!  I keep reminding myself to just savor moments with her and to take naps and enjoy this time, but I must admit in the back of my mind is my to do list.  Paperwork to complete, thank you notes to write, a house on the market that we need to keep clean, photos to edit etc.  Everything just seems to take a lot longer to get done when you have a cute baby to cuddle with and love on:)

I'm recovering slowly but surely.  Honestly, it's gone a lot better than I thought it would.  That first umm, bowel movement, afterwards took an especially long time to arrive (thank you powerful epidural) and ended up requiring me to stop taking my Percocet and have some help from a laxative and apple juice.  Also there were some frantic wake up calls to Blake to take Emersyn while I rushed to the bathroom, but as I only had a second degree tear my stitches themselves were fine.

My milk came in on Monday and E is nursing like a champ.  I've been exceedingly thankful that it's going really well so far- we have no schedule, but she is gaining weight and has a great latch.  I've had some engorgement, but nothing too bad, and lanolin has helped out with any soreness.  Of course, I now am on a search for nursing shirts!  I have a few nursing bras and two nursing tanks, but I think I'll need to be investing in some more clothes with easy access.

As for the post baby body, I came home from the hospital 18 lbs down, and I think I lost another when I could finally poo, and maybe another from the night sweating, but of course I still have the lovely post baby belly.  I didn't really expect it to disappear haha, but it's still not really fun to look in the mirror.  I'm thinking about getting a Belly Bandit, but just hate to spend the money.

One week down, a lifetime to go.  So very, very blessed.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

40 Weeks!

How big is the baby this week: Emersyn is 8 lbs 2 oz, per her first doctor appointment today.  She was 8 lbs 10 oz at birth.

Due Date: Emersyn arrived May 4, 2012!

Weight Gain: So far I've lost 18 of the 27 lbs I gained.  Yay for big babies and lots of amniotic fluid.

Symptoms: Emersyn is nursing every 2-3 hours on average.  She loves to be swaddled and held.    

Cravings: I can't get enough of her chubby cheeks, yummy neck, and adorable little hands and feet.

Aversions: She makes some stinky diapers haha!

Emersyn is a really good sleeper.  She does seem to have her days and nights mixed up though, sleeping in longer stretches during the day.

I am loving: My baby girl!  Also, seeing Blake as a father is amazing.  A whole new world of love.

I miss: Our dog, Gus.

I am looking forward to: E waking up and nursing, my boobies are engorged haha!

I'm spazzing about: Being the best mama I can be to my girl.

Best thing about this week: Our first day home- just hubs and I with Emersyn, completely content.

Milestones: My milk came in yesterday, and E slept in her crib last night.

Movement: When she's not swaddled and sleeping, she loves to stretch out and move, just like when she was in my belly:)

It's a...: miracle!  

Monday, May 7, 2012

In love.

Totally cliche, but I have never been happier in my entire life.  I need to write out E's birth story, but it will be after I get the images back from our birth photographer.  Thank you all for your prayers, good thoughts, and well wishes!

Friday, May 4, 2012

She has arrived!

Emersyn Grace Crockett made her debut at 4:42pm after 12 minutes of pushing. She weighs 8 lbs 10 oz and is 20 inches long. She has a full head of hair and is absolutely perfect.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The countdown is on!

I had my last OB appointment before Emersyn arrives today.  I am 1.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  Those cervical checks hurt!  I'm really hoping the nurse we had last Saturday is working this Friday because her checks hurt way less than my Dr's.  But, other than painful cervical checks I'm pretty much in love with my Dr, so oh well.

E is measuring at 8 lbs 3 oz,  but this is just an estimate.  I'm really eager to see what she actually weighs, and looks like, and acts like etc.  I am slightly terrified of an induction, and labor in general, but very, very ready to meet my daughter!  I asked my dr today what the plan was for the induction, as I think there's a few ways for them to go about it.  She is planning on us coming in at 5am, starting Pitocin, and she'll come check on me fairly early and break my water.  Ummm, wow, not really what I was expecting, as I thought they waited awhile before breaking the water, and that makes me feel like there's a deadline to get this baby out, but I trust my dr.

Since this pregnancy is close to ending, and I feel like I've had a few negative posts about the aches and pains, I wanted to share what I've loved about being pregnant.

-Telling people we were pregnant- so much fun!
-Watching my belly grow, I mean, it could have slowed down a bit here at the end, but in general, it's pretty fascinating to see your body change to house another human.
-The feel of my flat belly button- all smooth and weird.
-The way Blake would text me and ask how his ladies are doing today.
-The fact that even when her movements are uncomfortable, I'm the only person that gets to feel every.single.one.
-Being able to be entertained by her acrobatics for hours at a time.
-Eating ice cream before dinner at times and not feeling guilty about it.
-Dressing my bump and feeling cute since my pregnancy clothes are probably more stylish than my non maternity wardrobe.
-Dreaming about, planning, and finishing her nursery.
-Connecting with other moms, in real life and on the internets:)
-Bawling my eyes out when we found out she was a girl and my mommy intuition was right.
-Having an excuse to ask for back rubs and foot rubs.  I've shown restraint though- I definitely wanted more than I asked for.
-Dreaming with Blake about what she'll be like.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

39 Weeks!

How big is the baby this week: Emersyn is the size of a wintermelon!

Due Date: May 8, 2012, but our induction is scheduled for May 4, 2012!

Weight Gain: Up 1 lbs this week. Running total: 27 lbs. 

Symptoms: The belly is giant.  Stretchmarks and busted capillaries.  "Real" contractions, lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, weird nerve pains in my hips, swollen feet and hands, heartburn, backaches and sore ribs.  

Cravings: Milk and sweets.  I really wanted s'mores last night, so we did them over the grill.  Yum!

Aversions: Towards the end of the day I'm not usually as hungry, which manifests itself into nothing sounds good.

Waking up every couple hours to use the bathroom, or to adjust myself into more of a sitting position if I start to slide.  Other than that, pretty ok for sleeping on the couch.

I am loving: My sweet hubs- he's been pretty darn awesome through this pregnancy and especially the last few weeks.  He's going to be such an awesome Dad!

I miss: Our dog, Gus.

I am looking forward to: Dr appointment tomorrow to see if I've progressed at all, and meeting Emersyn on Friday!

I'm spazzing about: Being induced.  It's one thing to spontaneously go into labor and have no choice, it's another to consent to a procedure that's going to be uber painful.  Worth it, and the right choice for us, but still scary.

Best thing about this week: The prenatal massage the hubs arranged for me was amazing, and just getting to spend time with Blake.

Milestones: I'd say waking up with busted capillaries on my belly was pretty odd (looks like small blood spots), and this will be my last weekly update!

Movement: She still moves quite a bit, seems to really love that sore spot on the top of my belly (ouch).

It's a...: Girl!!! Emersyn Grace:)