Monday, March 5, 2012

Anniversaries and Due Date

This past weekend was very, very busy! Friday was my baby shower at work, and then Saturday we had our childbirth class, then that evening I went to a big Just Between Friends sale (a huge consignment sale in my area) and bought Emersyn lots of clothes for as she gets older, a Baby Bjorn ($14!), several books and SHOES! Sunday we purposefully tried to take it a bit easier- March 4th marked 5 years since Blake had asked me to marry him, and it was also our original due date.

I cried on Sunday, watching my belly move as Emersyn bounced around, and remembering the baby we never got to watch move or grow. It's such a confusing feeling, missing our first baby so much, but also being so grateful for the baby we'll welcome in just a few short months- we wouldn't have Emersyn if our first baby had lived. Honestly I just don't like to dwell on those thoughts, as there is nothing we could have done differently, and no way to wrap it all up in a nice little happy package. We went to Panera and church, and then I spent the day washing Emersyn's clothes and putting a lot of gifts away in her nursery. The day was not as hard as I expected it to be, and I'm sure that my big ol' belly has a lot to do with that. No matter what led us to this point, I'm so excited to meet her, and grateful to be her mama.

2 comments:

  1. aww, so sorry to hear that! I know it must have been an emotional day. But, like you said, if not for that hard time, you wouldn't have sweet Emersyn on the way! :) We are never thankful for the sunny days if there are never any rainy days...as hard as it is to swallow sometimes! Hang in there mama!

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  2. A happy and hard day all in one. Your perspective is refreshing. Thank you for sharing...and I can't BELIEVE you only have a handful of weeks left!!

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